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How to Start Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

Even the most civilised of divorces are difficult to go through, and the emotions can take a toll.

Read on to discover all you need to know to become that bold, wonderful, independent you after a divorce.

A brown wood table with white divorce papers and a gold wedding band

3 tips for taking care of yourself after a divorce

When a marriage breaks down, and a divorce is the only way forward, it can be a stressful and grief-filled time. Here are my five top tips for ensuring you take care of yourself during and after divorce proceedings.

  1. Be aware of your feelings and don’t ignore them.

There are five stages that you will likely face when going through a divorce: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. It is important that you allow yourself to go through all of these stages and emotions, and allow yourself to grieve – after all, a divorce is a big deal.

Tip: Keep a journal to allow yourself a space to vent frustrations and collate feelings. This journal will not only help you to process what you’ve been through, but will also allow you to look back and see how far you’ve come.

  1. Ask your friends and family for support.

There are people in your life who will be there through thick and thin – and at times like these when you have been through a huge change in your life, it’s important to lean on that support system. Whether you need somewhere to stay, a friendly ear to talk to, or someone to join you on a ‘let’s get away and forget everything’ spa trip, so don’t be afraid to ask for the help you need.

  1. Seek professional help.

A friend lending a helping hand is one thing, but it’s also important to seek professional help after a divorce if you think that will be helping you. A friend is like a jump leads to kick start a car, whilst a therapist is a mechanic who can help you fix the route of the issue. A therapist or life coach can help you to move on and rebuild your life, giving you the building blocks and motivation you need to be able to start over. It’s their job to help you through tough times in life and seeking professional help is nothing to be ashamed of, please do remember that!

A brick building windows and fire escape stairs on the left, a large white sign on the right says ‘how are you, really?’

4 steps to move forward and rebuild your life after a divorce

Taking the best care of yourself is important after a divorce, but you also need to take time to start over and rebuild your life. Here are a few tips to help you do just that.

  1. Know when it’s OK to stay friends, and when it’s best to cut ties completely.

Even though you have decided to part ways as spouses, the feelings don’t always fully go away – especially not straight away. For some people, their husband or wife is also their best friend, a person they’ve spent a lot of time together through highs and lows, and there is no reason why the breakdown of a marriage should result in the loss of that friendship. For others, however, particularly when a marriage has been toxic or abusive, it’s important to fully cut ties to ensure you are able to move on and live life to the fullest after the divorce.

  1. Don’t forget that it is possible to start over and find happiness again.

Just because one marriage ends in divorce, does not mean that you are destined to be alone forever. Don’t be afraid to put yourself back out there and begin dating again. Being single can be fun, and you can – and will – find happiness again, whether that is with a new partner, or on your own living your best life.

  1. Address loneliness directly.

Take the time to do things you enjoy and be around the people you love. The breakdown of one relationship doesn’t mean the loss of all of them. Why not enjoy a holiday with your children or best friends, or attend classes to learn a new craft and make new friends.

  1. Take time to reinvent yourself.

It’s important to remind yourself of your own identity now the ‘we’ portion of your life journey is over. From hiking up a mountain you’d always wanted to try, to indulging in a different cuisine every night to discover which is your favourite; there are so many ways you can explore who you are after your divorce.

Tip: A change of image can often increase your confidence. It can be anything, from a new hairstyle to hair colour, or if you are a man with a beard maybe a new beard style click here for some ideas #ad

An older couple walking down a grassy hill towards a body of water surrounded by white cliffs.
The mental strain of a marriage break-up is bound to take its toll on you. However, there are plenty of ways to begin stepping towards rebuilding your life and beginning the process of healing. With these tips, I hope you are able to start on your journey with purpose and excitement for the new adventures yet to come your way.
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