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How to Start Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

Even the most civilised of divorces are difficult to go through, and the emotions can take a toll.

Read on to discover all you need to know to become that bold, wonderful, independent you after a divorce.

A brown wood table with white divorce papers and a gold wedding band

3 tips for taking care of yourself after a divorce

When a marriage breaks down, and a divorce is the only way forward, it can be a stressful and grief-filled time. Here are my five top tips for ensuring you take care of yourself during and after divorce proceedings.

  1. Be aware of your feelings and don’t ignore them.

There are five stages that you will likely face when going through a divorce: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. It is important that you allow yourself to go through all of these stages and emotions, and allow yourself to grieve – after all, a divorce is a big deal.

Tip: Keep a journal to allow yourself a space to vent frustrations and collate feelings. This journal will not only help you to process what you’ve been through, but will also allow you to look back and see how far you’ve come.

  1. Ask your friends and family for support.

There are people in your life who will be there through thick and thin – and at times like these when you have been through a huge change in your life, it’s important to lean on that support system. Whether you need somewhere to stay, a friendly ear to talk to, or someone to join you on a ‘let’s get away and forget everything’ spa trip, so don’t be afraid to ask for the help you need.

  1. Seek professional help.

A friend lending a helping hand is one thing, but it’s also important to seek professional help after a divorce if you think that will be helping you. A friend is like a jump leads to kick start a car, whilst a therapist is a mechanic who can help you fix the route of the issue. A therapist or life coach can help you to move on and rebuild your life, giving you the building blocks and motivation you need to be able to start over. It’s their job to help you through tough times in life and seeking professional help is nothing to be ashamed of, please do remember that!

A brick building windows and fire escape stairs on the left, a large white sign on the right says ‘how are you, really?’

4 steps to move forward and rebuild your life after a divorce

Taking the best care of yourself is important after a divorce, but you also need to take time to start over and rebuild your life. Here are a few tips to help you do just that.

  1. Know when it’s OK to stay friends, and when it’s best to cut ties completely.

Even though you have decided to part ways as spouses, the feelings don’t always fully go away – especially not straight away. For some people, their husband or wife is also their best friend, a person they’ve spent a lot of time together through highs and lows, and there is no reason why the breakdown of a marriage should result in the loss of that friendship. For others, however, particularly when a marriage has been toxic or abusive, it’s important to fully cut ties to ensure you are able to move on and live life to the fullest after the divorce.

  1. Don’t forget that it is possible to start over and find happiness again.

Just because one marriage ends in divorce, does not mean that you are destined to be alone forever. Don’t be afraid to put yourself back out there and begin dating again. Being single can be fun, and you can – and will – find happiness again, whether that is with a new partner, or on your own living your best life.

  1. Address loneliness directly.

Take the time to do things you enjoy and be around the people you love. The breakdown of one relationship doesn’t mean the loss of all of them. Why not enjoy a holiday with your children or best friends, or attend classes to learn a new craft and make new friends.

  1. Take time to reinvent yourself.

It’s important to remind yourself of your own identity now the ‘we’ portion of your life journey is over. From hiking up a mountain you’d always wanted to try, to indulging in a different cuisine every night to discover which is your favourite; there are so many ways you can explore who you are after your divorce.

Tip: A change of image can often increase your confidence. It can be anything, from a new hairstyle to hair colour, or if you are a man with a beard maybe a new beard style click here for some ideas #ad

An older couple walking down a grassy hill towards a body of water surrounded by white cliffs.
The mental strain of a marriage break-up is bound to take its toll on you. However, there are plenty of ways to begin stepping towards rebuilding your life and beginning the process of healing. With these tips, I hope you are able to start on your journey with purpose and excitement for the new adventures yet to come your way.
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#tbt to January 2020 It could be the same post 2 years on but a different journey that I’ve just been on…

to January 2020

It could be the same post 2 years on but a differemt journey that I've just been on...

Small steps.
.
When life is tough don't give up.
It's easy in January to make all those unrealistic  resolutions and set yourself up to fail.
.
So start your journey with small steps.
A step by step change of thinking.
.
It could be that you want to:
Change your life.
Become fitter, healthier.
It could be anything........
.
Start each day when you wake up to be grateful for 3 things in your life. That way the day will begin  on a positive note.
.
Remove any negativity and replace with positivity and the possibilities of what you can achieve with each of those small steps.
.
Be the master of your own destiny.
.
.
.
.



Photo by @rory_photo 
'Amazon women' Vintage top by Kenzo





#self-esteem

..

Small steps.
.
When life is tough don’t give up.
It’s easy in January to make all those unrealistic resolutions and set yourself up to fail.
.
So start your journey with small steps.
A step by step change of thinking.
.
It could be that you want to:
Change your life.
Become fitter, healthier.
It could be anything……..
.
Start each day when you wake up to be grateful for 3 things in your life. That way the day will begin on a positive note.
.
Remove any negativity and replace with positivity and the possibilities of what you can achieve with each of those small steps.
.
Be the master of your own destiny.
.
.
.
.

Photo by @rory_photo
‘Amazon women’ Vintage top by Kenzo

#self-esteem

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#bekindtoyourself is my message for today

is my message for today.
.
When we try to set goals for ourselves that are often not achievable, we wonder why - especially when we are recovering from trauma.
.
Trauma can manifest in many ways and can take us by surprise blindsiding us - and create an unexpected emotional rollercoaster - leaving us exhausted, unable to concentrate or focus for any length of time and also unexplicably weepy at the slightest triggers - whether it is simply a friend's kindness towards us or a metaphorical mountain climbed that day for the first time.
.
Trauma is an emotional response from a serious shock experienced by our bodies and can create levels of PTSD causing these heightened emotions that leave us wondering why we are like this. Major surgery can be one such cause. 
.
I only discovered this today from my surgeon who explained that it can take up to 3 months to recuperate mentally (not physically) from such major surgery. This is not just the effects of the anaesthetic and drugs etc but the extreme trauma the body has experienced. 
.
I had only considered the physical aspect of recovery especially as my mental wellness has always been a given.
.
So even if you are usually focused and driven in your daily life - achieving your daily goals and more - cut yourself some slack if you are recovering from any sort of trauma and give your body and your mind time to heal..
.
.

.
When we try to set goals for ourselves that are often not achievable, we wonder why – especially when we are recovering from trauma.
.
Trauma can manifest in many ways and can take us by surprise blindsiding us – and create an unexpected emotional rollercoaster – leaving us exhausted, unable to concentrate or focus for any length of time and also unexplicably weepy at the slightest triggers – whether it is simply a friend’s kindness towards us or a metaphorical mountain climbed that day for the first time.
.
Trauma is an emotional response from a serious shock experienced by our bodies and can create levels of PTSD causing these heightened emotions that leave us wondering why we are like this. Major surgery can be one such cause.
.
I only discovered this today from my surgeon who explained that it can take up to 3 months to recuperate mentally (not physically) from such major surgery. This is not just the effects of the anaesthetic and drugs etc but the extreme trauma the body has experienced.
.
I had only considered the physical aspect of recovery especially as my mental wellness has always been a given.
.
So even if you are usually focused and driven in your daily life – achieving your daily goals and more – cut yourself some slack if you are recovering from any sort of trauma and give your body and your mind time to heal..
.
.

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This is the new bionic me

This is the new bionic me.
.
A customised 3D printed titanium hip joint from Germany held firmly in place with the addition of 3 extra long screws.
Extra fingers of titanium replace the need for bone grafts to fill in the holes in surrounding bone caused by the of the leaking from my ill-advised of 7 years ago. 
.
I will be fully weight bearing in 6 weeks time -  but at the moment still only partial weight-bearing on crutches with all physio only in a hydro-pool as the water allows me to do so much - even single leg balance and squats on the operated hip leg. 

This is a year's recovery to be able to do sports safely whilst the bone heals around the implant but by the start of 2022 I will be able to do most non-impact exercise. 
.
It is positively awe inspiring what futuristic medical technology can now be done together with amazing pioneering hip surgery with Professor Alister Hart @exerciseforscience 
.
I am such a lucky girl that the holes in the corroded bone were discovered in time - and that I was advised to stop all exercise and even walks ( except for swimming and static bike) for the 3 months before the op in case the bone crumbled from the amount of holes that had been caused in the surrounding bone.
.
I had no idea that anything so significant was wrong and I had been continuing to horse ride , play tennis, and do all sporting activities even ice skate.
.
So ladies- if you know anyone who has had a metal on metal hip resurface op please advise them to get their bloods checked and a CT scan to make sure they are okay. 
.
.
.

.
A customised 3D printed titanium hip joint from Germany held firmly in place with the addition of 3 extra long screws.
Extra fingers of titanium replace the need for bone grafts to fill in the holes in surrounding bone caused by the of the leaking from my ill-advised of 7 years ago.
.
I will be fully weight bearing in 6 weeks time – but at the moment still only partial weight-bearing on crutches with all physio only in a hydro-pool as the water allows me to do so much – even single leg balance and squats on the operated hip leg.

This is a year’s recovery to be able to do sports safely whilst the bone heals around the implant but by the start of 2022 I will be able to do most non-impact exercise.
.
It is positively awe inspiring what futuristic medical technology can now be done together with amazing pioneering hip surgery with Professor Alister Hart @exerciseforscience
.
I am such a lucky girl that the holes in the corroded bone were discovered in time – and that I was advised to stop all exercise and even walks ( except for swimming and static bike) for the 3 months before the op in case the bone crumbled from the amount of holes that had been caused in the surrounding bone.
.
I had no idea that anything so significant was wrong and I had been continuing to horse ride , play tennis, and do all sporting activities even ice skate.
.
So ladies- if you know anyone who has had a metal on metal hip resurface op please advise them to get their bloods checked and a CT scan to make sure they are okay.
.
.
.

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#tbt When I was young in the 1970s Wearing @kenzo #kenzo waistcoat and brown satin trousers maybe from #kensingtonmarket #backintheday

When I was young in the 1970s
Wearing @kenzo waistcoat
and brown satin trousers maybe from

When I was young in the 1970s
Wearing @kenzo waistcoat
and brown satin trousers maybe from

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